The Victim Mentality Assumption seems to be used often in social media lately. When I see someone sharing their story, I don’t think they have a victim mentality. I think they are sharing their story to feel heard, validated, seen, and to help others feel the same.
Victim mentality is when someone feels as if the world is against them at all times and bad things just always happen to them. It can stem from one or many traumatic events. Sharing your story doesn’t necessarily mean you have a victim mentality.
There’s a big difference between wanting to understand yourself to work through traumatic events and having a victim mentality. I’m not sure what’s worse – a person that really does have a victim mentality or the person that blames everyone that shares a part of their story for having a victim mentality.
Of course there is a place and time for sharing. We certainly can’t just trauma dump anywhere anytime.
My Victim Mentality Assumption Story
If I’m opening up about something that happened to me, I’m not sharing this with you because I have a victim mentality. I don’t need your cometary about my experience that happened to ME. It’s just my story. You don’t know the entirety of it or the tools I’ve been using or have tried to help with self-healing.
Just assuming that someone has a victim mentality is dismissive and hurtful. “Change your mindset, just do the work!” First, don’t assume you know me and my mindset so well. Second, don’t tell me what to do. You don’t know the tools I’m using or have tried. Third, your toxic positivity surface one liner follow societies B.S. just put such a sour taste in my mouth about you. It’s changed my perception about you to make it a point to avoid interacting with you any further.
This all came up from someone commenting on my social media post in a group. I asked, “What positive affirmations would have been helpful to hear as a bullied child?” I saw so many great affirmations that might have helped them and others along with a few short stories to warrant the affirmations that might have helped them at the time.
One person came in and declared that they had never seen a thread filled with more victim mentality in their life. Stating the obvious facts of how all kids are brutal and bulling happens to everyone. They were just having such a hard time listening to adults relive what is the normal growing up process.
The point of the post was to find ways to help kids now because it seems we have more kids un-aliving themselves or violently taking it out on others. To find a way to try to end this generational bully epidemic.
We can change. People change. Acknowledge any healthy small progress at all that sticks and let those that assume things go. Exit stage right. Bless their heart and move on.
I hope that my victim mentality assumption story has helped shed some light on different ways that we can walk through life and learn from one another. Maybe my story could help you, someone you know, and/or maybe my experience is good to hear because it’s relatable. Sometimes hearing someone’s story can help us process our own.
We just have to keep trying different things to find what will work for us. Remember that what may work for one, may not work for another. Hang on and keep trying!
Seeking professional help is courageous!
Are you Slowing Down for Mental Health?